Guilty Pleasures: Should I Or Shouldn’t I?

Every fortnight or so, I get an opportunity to present a short segment on the UK’s largest broadcaster, BBC Radio 2. The producers of Pause for Thought allow me and other presenters (all of varying faith backgrounds) to be as ‘religious’ as we want to be—as long as we don’t get preachy. I love sharing Christian ideas with secular audiences, so the spot is a treat to do.

I don’t choose the topics, the producers do. So what could I say when they asked me to talk about guilty pleasures? Should I share my penchant for 80s soul and funk music (it’s a long way from praise and worship)? Or how I eat Nutella out of the jar (it gets worse—see below). I ended up speaking about false guilt. You see, there are some things we should feel guilty about and some things we shouldn’t. But how do you know the difference?

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Pause For Thought: Guilty Pleasures

icecream with cherry

Picture: ‘Time for an icecream break’, Jessica Wilson, flickr (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

My guilty pleasures tend to change over time. When my wife and I first discovered the TV series West Wing, we would watch multiple episodes back-to-back (our record was 5 in one sitting). I’ve had seasons of slipping a dash of liqueur into my coffee each morning (but don’t tell anyone). I’m not alone in having eaten chocolate spread from the jar. But I’ve made that pleasure even more indulgent by adding a dollop of strawberry sauce to it as well!

Perhaps my one consistent guilty pleasure has been my irregular habit of spending an afternoon in a coffee shop writing in my journal. I can make a single cappuccino last for hours as I scribble down all the ideas in my mind. What makes this delightful activity a guilty pleasure is when I do it: not on the weekend in my spare time, but on a weekday. To sit in a cafe putting my feelings on paper while others pore over spreadsheets or sweat it out on construction sites seems so very indulgent. So, I don’t do it very often.

But I should.

To Feel Guilty, Or Not To Feel Guilty?

Coffee and journal

Picture: Coffee and Journal by Wil Taylor, flickr (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

As a writer, every book I publish or talk I give starts first in that journal. I may spend hours at the computer crafting the book or the talk, but only after the original idea is found. And those ideas are best found when I’m in a relaxed state with a pen and paper. For me then, cafe time is work time. But that doesn’t stop me feeling a little guilty as I sit in that cafe on a Wednesday afternoon.

I’ve spent much time in my journals reflecting on when, and when not, to feel guilty about something. And I’m convinced we need an external standard to judge those feelings by. This is why I believe something like the Ten Commandments is so important. If we feel guilty for cheating on our partners, or charging clients for work we haven’t done, or anything else on that famous list, we can know our conscience is working correctly by motivating us to change. And if we feel guilty about sitting in a cafe journaling on a weekday afternoon, we can ask if our conscience is simply being over-sensitive.

So here’s to guilty pleasures that turn out to be not-soguilty pleasures. If you’re coming through Oxford this afternoon, do say hello. I’ll be at the corner table in the cafe on High Street—scribbling in a notepad.

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What have you learnt about true and false guilt? Leave a comment below now or call me using the ‘Send Voicemail’ button on the right. Please also rate and share this podcast on iTunes to help others discover it!

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Comments:

  • March 16, 2016
    hodge publishing

    Nice. Wish I was indeed wandering in the High today – but am trying to summarise my ideas for the next novel into a paragraph of 50 words! Good method, tried and tested, it will work … meanwhile taking your advice – a bit more relaxed would help the brain work better… tell myself it is fun to play around with the ideas… maybe go for a walk or eat lunch …

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    • March 16, 2016

      I do something similar with book projects by writing the back cover copy: helps to provide the essence of the book to keep me on track. Happy writing and reflecting!

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      • March 16, 2016
        hodge publishing

        🙂

        reply
  • March 16, 2016
    hodge publishing

    Oh, btw, I have now made a Facebook author page … Mari Howard’s author page …

    reply
  • March 16, 2016
    Penelope Swithinbank

    My (false) guilt often comes from my perceptions of the perceptions of others about me! Perhaps I would worry less about what others think of me if I realized how seldom they do ….

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    • March 16, 2016
      hodge publishing

      So true, Penelope! They are thinking about themselves, not ourselves!

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    • March 17, 2016

      This is just so common, and your remedy just so true. As I heard someone say: ‘What other people think about me isn’t any of my business’. I found that liberating.

      reply
  • March 16, 2016
    Deanna Krahn Sarkar

    I often find myself thanking the Lord for the various delights in everyday life. “Fix your thoughts on whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Chocolate spread as “honorable” may be a stretch, but I feel God’s delight when I rejoice over whatever I can (!). (it’s a fun picture, and it’s fun to get excited about things…I actually haven’t had Nutella in over two years because of some chronic illness and a very restrictive diet, but this picture still brings me joy!)

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  • March 17, 2016

    [Due to an error, I’m posting this message for Deana]

    I often find myself thanking the Lord for the various delights in everyday life. “Fix your thoughts on whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Chocolate spread as “honorable” may be a stretch, but I feel God’s delight when I rejoice over whatever I can (!). (it’s a fun picture, and it’s fun to get excited about things…I actually haven’t had Nutella in over two years because of some chronic illness and a very restrictive diet, but this picture still brings me joy!)

    reply
  • November 8, 2017

    Thought provoking, Sheridan. I need to schedule in a retreat – a non-guilt-inducing pleasure that feels like a guilty pleasure.

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