And I did have to laugh at that logical fallacy of ‘contentment’ leading to the ‘fulfillment’ of a partner .

i) many people assuming a single person has time on his / her hands and thus watches lots of movies, does lots of ‘selfish stuff’ (rather than using the opportunity to actually serve people and be particularly fruitful in God’s kingdom) and

ii) many people assuming a single person doesn’t have a well thought out, prayed about and mature understanding and perhaps even experience in raising children or living as a couple / family.

b) what has helped me live out these best for BOTH are:

i) kind, gracious people who don’t assume either of the above, and love, respect you as a single person, involving you in all aspects of their lives and are interested in your life in a mature, loving and fun way [Note - the 'people doing the assuming' above can be both family people or single people - though most often they are family people] and 

ii) a focus on God’s undeserved grace towards me, that Jesus (a single man!) came to earth, was so much misunderstood, we as humanity rejected Him – yet because of His sacrifice on the cross, we can be called “children of God”! Oh what a joy and daily motivation to live life well and full!

One of the things I’ve found hard about the single Christian life is dealing with other people’s overly simplistic formulas about what it takes to no longer be single. People holding to these ideas are often a bit too keen to share them. No doubt they are well meaning but real life doesn’t tend to follow the formulas and being given such formulas can make the journey more frustrating and lonely. Some examples of things some Christians say will get you a partner are:

- being completely content- There is a bit of a logical flaw in using contentment as a tool to get something!
- stopping looking- You also could miss them because you weren’t looking!
- Loose weight/be more attractive- Nowhere near as easy as it sounds!
- Being involved in more Christian activities, especially missions trips- Last year I went on two missions trips and was extensively involved in Christian activities to the point I’m not sure where I would have fitted more in. I’m still single. I didn’t do any of those things with the motive of finding a partner but if the formula was to work for anyone, I should have been a pretty good candidate!

As for living it well, I think fasting is a particularly helpful discipline. I’ve read a few authors who bring it up in relation to sexual temptation but I think it is applicable to singleness in general.  Both fasting from food and attempting to live a holy single life are about learning to rely on God in the absence of a good thing you desire. Although for medical reasons I can’t fast food much any more, I still find it a helpful way to conceptualize my experience of singleness and chastity. Understanding singleness as like fasting, you can start to see the longings and pain of singleness as something that points you to trust in God and rely on his strength rather and as something that helps sanctify you rather than just random annoying pain. 

We thought you might like to know that we have been reading one of the stories out of your Open House Volumes 1, 2 and 3 as a very special treat each Saturday morning with breakfast. It has become a wonderful tradition.

We have been so inspired, encouraged and challenged in reading the interviews you had between different people, and it has truly opened up a whole new world to us of what is going on ‘out there’ and getting to know ‘celebrities’ and the like that bit better. We have laughed, cried, and at times been shocked and saddened when reading the stories you have presented in your book. What a great interviewer you are – you ask the questions we too would ask – and the replies are fantastic. We sure hope there will be a fourth volume in the not too distant future and would appreciate if you could let us know. Who knows we might be able to get a personally signed copy one day.

Blessings on all that you do, your travels and for doing you part in contributing in a purposeful and wonderful way in our world. Keep it up.